Everything has to begin somewhere...

Actually, that's probably utter bollocks. But the point I'm labouring over is that this blog has to start somewhere. Which is perhaps proving a little more difficult than anticipated. Lucky for me that no fucker is likely to turn up to read this first post, if anyone bothers with any of my posts at all. anyhow, enough procrastination....

I am one of those annoying bastards who thinks too much and as a result talks immense amounts of crap, often (but not exclusively) when my good pal alcohol is exerting her influence over me. I have been known to rant about anything and everything, vehemently spew vitriol in the direction of any bastards whom I disagree with, and generally act like an obstinate old wanker who is absolutely certain that he is always right. And those are just my best qualities.... Hence my decision to try and bring some cohesion to the mess that is myself by clearly laying down these rantings in a blog. Except now that I am here (and Lady Booze is sadly not) I am all of a sudden at a loss for what to write.

So let me begin just by moaning about feet... just for a second. I hate the fuckers. I understand their purpose and appreciate them doing their job, but that doesn't change the fact that they are truly the most ugly part of the human body. Even the penis (an unattractive appendage if ever there was one) has to take a backseat to feet. And yet living in Sinless City where the climate is consistently pleasant I am constantly surrounded by people in fucking sandals! The strappy heeled shoes the girls wear are bad enough, even if they are adorning nicely pedicured feet, but the sandals? And then the mother of all horrors, the bastard flip-flops! (Thongs, if you're American [apologies - it's Aussies who call them thongs!]). Because this is a city and not a nice white sanded beach (where I can just about cope with it all) those toes, pedicured or not, become blackened by the dirt and calloused by the hard pound on concrete and look like utter shite. It genuinely makes me feel like vomming, most particularly when people are slipping their shoes on and off in cafes and bars............

And there you go. To think I was worrying that I didn't know what to write for my debut. If there is perchance anyone who bothered reading about my perverted foot anti-fetish please do leave a comment. I mean, you've taken 5 minutes from your oh-so-hectic life to read this shit so you obviously have nothing better to do.....

And incidentally, that picture is not me. Ye gads, no!

Cheers m'dears!