Random Drivel from your Average Tosser

...with your host, Binty McShae - whether you like it or not!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

XX or X-Why?

We are living in a time where more is understood and accepted about gender identity crisis than ever before (although, as in any so-called "minority rights" case we still have a journey ahead of us). Back in the UK I was good friends with a wonderful woman who had been born a man. To be frank, and despite my protestations of being 'right-on', I found it hard when I first met her as she was in a transitionary stage and some days she would arrive to work dressed as a man, others as a woman, but once she entered the final stages of her transformation and settled as a woman it was not even remotely difficult to accept her as such. And for her to have finally done this in her late '50's, having already fathered two now grown up children in a previous marriage, took tremendous courage.

That was not my first experience of meeting a trans-gender person (I know of two before that, but who knows - there may have been more) but it was the first time that I had taken the time to develop a friendship. And now, of course, living in South East Asia (where male-to-female ops are cheap and plentiful) , I regularly see women that used to be men... they can often be spotted as just being too damn perfect looking to have been born that way, although many of them, sadly, end up selling the body that they just bought in order to pay the loans that facilitated their surgery. Despite being able to accept that some people were not born the gender that they feel they are, however, I struggle - a lot - with this...

At seven years old your body is still in the very beginings of development, and so is your mind... not to metion your personality. I know it is a dirty word, but youngsters do go through "phases"... Heterosexuals sometimes have a "gay phase" where they experiment; likewise I know homosexuals who had a "straight phase" in their youth. Hell, I remember questioning my sexuality way back when I was around 12, and my gender frequently through my teens and even my early twenties. But how many of us knew who we were at seven? What if he changes his mind...?

I've been pondering over this story for the better part of a week and still I find I cannot actually articulate why I think that bringing this boy up in this way is any more wrong than bringing him up in the "conventional" way. But it still sits uneasy on me... as always, your input would be greatly appreciated!

Cheers m'dears!

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13 Comments:

At Tuesday, May 23, 2006 7:57:00 pm, Blogger The MacBean Gene said...

As you correctly point out, Binty, a seven year old is not yet sure of how sexual identity will develop. Damn, the kid hasn't even reached puberity. This is a choice that shoud rightly be defered untill maturity and then be explored.

 
At Tuesday, May 23, 2006 11:15:00 pm, Blogger Sarah said...

i sometimes still question my sexual orientation, but luckily not my gender. i can't even begin to imagine the turmoil and angst that is felt with that identity crisis.

that said.. when DOES a person become lucid enough to realize what gender they are??? i don't know that a 7 year old would for sure feel one way or another. but then, i'm not that 7 year old. i can't rightly say how any human other than myself feels or doesn't feel. if the school and more importantly his family is open enough to accept him as as a girl.. i'm sure they are open enough to accept him if he changes his mind.

 
At Tuesday, May 23, 2006 11:46:00 pm, Blogger happykat said...

Yeah, okay...change your plumbing, change your name, or not .....it's your life. As a parent, i feel for the kid.
But he's still a boy. Use the fracking boys bathroom! He's not the only kid in school. When i was in school, I didn't want a boy coming into the girls bathroom for any reason. Even if he thought he was a girl or wanted to be a girl, to me (as another seven year old) he would still be a boy.

 
At Wednesday, May 24, 2006 12:41:00 am, Blogger Sarah said...

i used the boys bathroom.. sometimes the girls was full up.

i'm a mercinary when it comes to relieving myself.

 
At Wednesday, May 24, 2006 2:07:00 am, Blogger Foot Eater said...

Never thought I'd use this phrase unironically, but it's political correctness gone mad. A seven year old might assert that he feels ready for sex as well but that doesn't mean his wishes should be granted.

 
At Wednesday, May 24, 2006 4:29:00 am, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Nope, I can't get my head round that one - it's too bizarre. As you and others have said, you cannot know before puberty what your orientation is going to be. The only way I can make sense of this is if he happens to be one of those cross-chromozone things where genetically someone is in fact the opposite sex but because of a screw up in the hormones in the womb ended up with the wrong sexual organs (saw a programme about it on TV once, can't remember what the condition is called). Anyway, that might make sense, but it's not mentioned in any of the reports.

 
At Wednesday, May 24, 2006 7:08:00 am, Blogger ill man said...

I'm of the opinion that they have been a little too hasty here. The behaviour may or may not have something to do with the child's sexuality. It may or may not have something to do with it's gender orientation. As has been pointed out, such things cannot be truly determined until the boy is fully sexually aware.

It's like saying the boy at school who played with the girls and made fullest use of the dressing up box was in fact a girl in a boys body and as such should be treated as female. Absurd nonsense. It has to be something they figure out for themselves. They better hope they've got it right. The consequences of this kid figuring out that he is in fact a heterosexual male may be quite catastrophic.

 
At Wednesday, May 24, 2006 7:15:00 am, Blogger SafeTinspector said...

I think humans should be chemically castrated until the age of twenty four. At that time they should answer a questionaire from inside a Vanity Fair magazine. Based on the score their gender will be decided and surgery immediately scheduled to correct any conflict between the test results and the unfortunate biological reality.

 
At Thursday, May 25, 2006 1:08:00 am, Blogger fatmammycat said...

At seven I desperately wanted to be a vet, at nine a nun, at twenty a horse trainer, and hello, at thirty-three I am none of those things. Seven year olds can't even decide what food they like, let alone bigger issues. This is just pc crap. And for the record, born a man, die a man, no matter how many hormones you gobble and bits you get chopped off/added on. Chemicals and plastic surgery can alter everything, but without them you revert to who you are. If I dye my hair blonde tomorrow, I am not a natural blonde, but a dyed blonde, and that's just about how I see it with trangenders. If you don't keep it up your highlights you own colour grows back.
And that doen't mean I think trangesnders should be treated with disrespect, but I will never consider a transgender anything other than the sex they were born and noting irks me more that hearing a he called a she or vice versa. I don't like my gay frinds calling each other 'she' either and frequently say 'save it, he's one of yours'.
I have a lesbian friend who I have known for nearly twenty years and she's more manly than most of the men I know. When we were in school(boarding, poor girl) it was quite clear that but for a choromosome or two she would have made a fine chap, but she isn't, and no amount of longing will make her so. I don't treat her any differently than any of my other friends, except when it comes to squash. Her overarm could take my fucking head off. MY point is, if she ever had surgery to turn into a man-not a big leap for her genetically- it wouldn't make any difference, to me she will always be a girl.

 
At Thursday, May 25, 2006 8:30:00 am, Blogger Binty McShae said...

At seven I wanted to be a bank manager... think it was a reaction against arty parents! But thank fuck I got that out of my system!

FMC, I'm sorry but I must disagree with you. We all have a right to assert our own identities, which means changing our names, hair colour, gender, whatever. Yes, a he-to-she transgender will still die with the XY chromosomes they were born with but I see no more wrong in describing them in the feminine than I do in calling someone a name they adopted because they didn't like the one their parents gave them. One thing that blogging in especial shows me is that we can all be who we actually want to be...

 
At Thursday, May 25, 2006 11:00:00 pm, Blogger SheBah said...

This unfortunate kid will be treated like a freak by his fellow classmates - it may well be that there is a chromosome problem which should have been investigated thoroughly before allowing the child to take a life changing action. When/if the male hormones kick in at puberty, his problems will be hugely exacerbated. (Though maybe it's all a cunning plan to be among the naked girls in the changing rooms when he reaches puberty - strategic thinking!)

 
At Friday, May 26, 2006 6:01:00 am, Blogger d34dpuppy said...

mabe he was brainwashed by his family bcos thay wanted a girl?
im pretty sure i knew i was gay really young tho mabe 3rd grade mabe dint exactly get it then

 
At Friday, May 26, 2006 12:14:00 pm, Blogger Binty McShae said...

Shebah, you're so right... yes, he'll be treated like a freak but only because the idea he's a freak will have been instilled in them by adults. Kids don't start with prejudices, they are taught them...

Puppy, it may well be that this boy does know with certainty (and not just think) that he should be a girl. But then again it may just be a phase... either way I think the boy needs time and shouldn't just become a pc pawn.

 

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