The world is full of absolute twats....

....and not just the one on the right. Allow me to demonstrate:-

Twat 1 (a.k.a. "the 'in-denial' twat")

Mr Taro Aso, Japanese foreign minister, has gone on record to state that Japan's involvement in wars at the beginning of the 20th century (including the Second World War) purely amounted to 'self-defence'. I don't know a huge amount about Japanese military history but historical sources I have come across would disagree. Just to use one single example of this unusual take on 'self-defence' take a look at Pearl Harbour. Just a pre-emptive strike, was it? Mr Aso (I wonder if that's pronounced in the same way as a bad english impression of a Japanese person saying "arsehole"?) made his comments defending the Yushukan war memorial which depicts Japan as defending itself against Western colonialists. Hey, I ain't saying the west weren't bastards who fucked up a lot of countries but this claim is completely twattish. I mean, why not suggest Hitler only went to Poland to get his ball back?

Twat 2 (a.k.a. "the bull-shitting twat")

Surprise, surprise. Fresh from receiving a remarkably light sentence from the Bali court, where she had been appearing in Muslim dress, the model-cum-Islamic-'convert' Michelle Leslie buggered off to buy some stilettos and slip into somethinga little more comfortable (emphasis on the word 'little'... and possibly the word 'slip' too). Considering the bewildering predictability of this chain of events I can't even be fucked to comment any further.

Twat 3 (a.k.a. "the suicidal-yet-in-a-rather-amusing-way twat")

Sadrine Helene Sellies had a fear of flying, and so before boarding her flight she took sleeping pills, swallowed down with alcohol. She is apparently also a big-time sleepwalker, so when (whilst half asleep and simultaneously drugged up) she decided she needed a cigarrette her brain did not register a problem at all with opening the door to step outside..... in mid-flight. She was stopped by the flight attendants, which was lucky... because if she hadn't there probably wouldn't have been any survivors to tell us about her complete twattery. She get's my vote for the next Darwin awards, although I have to wonder whether she has ruined an important plot point for 'Lost'...?

But wait, there is hope!

Amongst the chaos of twats like these appears the dim but heartening light of people with a healthy sense of realism mixed with a dash of wit... cue Mr Ozzy Osbourne, quoted this week as saying "I don't smoke, drink or take drugs anymore. But knowing my luck, a bird will crap on me and I'll get bird flu on the way home"

Many thanks, Ozzy, for restoring my faith in human kind......

Cheers m'dears!