Random Drivel from your Average Tosser

...with your host, Binty McShae - whether you like it or not!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The Backward Aussie and the Heavenly Tap...

Twat of the month so far seems to be the Aussie guy who has been charged by police for "reversing further than necessary". Okay, that seems like an unusual crime and you may think that charging him is a little harsh... until you discover that his backward journey took him 40km along the Hume Highway (one of the busiest in the country), all because the reverse gear was apparently the only one on the car that actually worked. Silly sod...

But on to happier news... beer literally on tap! Huzzah! Lucky lady Ms Haldis Gundersen turned on her kitchen taps for the mundane task of washing some cutlery, but when the beautiful amber liquid gushed forth she "thought we were in heaven"... indeed! This was an especially happy occurence when you consider that she lives in Norway, one of the most expensive places for alcohol in the world (a 0.4 litre glass costs roughly five UK pounds). Unfortunately for her the free-flow didn't last for long... it was soon discovered that a worker in the bar two floors below had cocked up when connecting the barrel to the pipes. I'll bet the punters in his bar were none too happy with what they were being served!

Cheers m'dears!

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10 Comments:

At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 1:42:00 pm, Blogger Sarah said...

we ran that as a kicker story in the evening news.

i love beer..

 
At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 5:34:00 pm, Blogger Foot Eater said...

That Aussie story is priceless. But 'reversing further than necessary' - is there really such an offence? 'Dangerous driving' or 'being too thick to drive' would have made more sense.

 
At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 8:08:00 pm, Blogger SheBah said...

I hope she had the sense to put the plug in and turn on the bath taps!

 
At Wednesday, March 15, 2006 12:58:00 am, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

That Aussie sounds like he came incredibly close to qualifying for a Darwin Award!

 
At Wednesday, March 15, 2006 5:19:00 am, Blogger Foot Eater said...

Completely off-topic, this, but I've just been looking at your links list and I reckon we Up For A Sessioners could wipe the floor with the Have A Pint Withs any time, even though they outnumber us.

 
At Wednesday, March 15, 2006 10:41:00 am, Blogger The MacBean Gene said...

Now that's the kind of comment I'd expect from someone who calls himself "foot eater".
The reversing reminds me of the stories of moonshiners who used to back up Bent Mountain, which is a challenge going forward, so if they encountered the law at the top they could race back down. And at what point does reversing become unnecessary?
I thought our spring water was the best thing to ever come out of a tap untill this.

 
At Thursday, March 16, 2006 10:45:00 am, Blogger SafeTinspector said...

Loosely related: My bio-father once repaired a Volkswagen Mini-Bus differential and ended up with 4 gears in reverse and one very-low gear in forward.

Foot:I'm of the mind that "session" indicates some form of coerced oral sex, and I'm glad to be just a damn drunk.

 
At Thursday, March 16, 2006 3:59:00 pm, Blogger Binty McShae said...

Sarah - so do I!

Footsie - too thick to drive? If only that could be a real law, it would reduce congestion overnight!

Sexy - damn straight!

Kim - still a long way to go to beat the terrorists who blew themselves up because they set the wrong time on their time-bomb!

Footsie (again) - I reckon 20M and Emerald Bile might take you to task on that... let alone Sarah and SafeT! The listings were done a while back and were based on how much inter-site visiting was going on at the time - It's certainly not meant in any kind of elitist way!!

Mac - There are so many jokes that can be made out of any story that has "moonshiners" "backing up" a mountain called "bent"... I'll leave it to your own imaginations...

SafeT - I'd love to see the top speed he could do going backwards in that thing! And as far as the "session" goes, refer to my answer to Footsie.

 
At Friday, March 17, 2006 12:24:00 pm, Blogger SafeTinspector said...

Yet I remain confused...

 
At Friday, March 17, 2006 1:35:00 pm, Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Sigh. I wish I was called 'Ms Haldis Gunderson'. It sounds so exotic and full of Norwegian promise, conjuring up images of a life of pickling herring and bathing in beer.

5 quid for 0.4 litres! Sheesh.

 

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