Random Drivel from your Average Tosser

...with your host, Binty McShae - whether you like it or not!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

A Cross Stick

Bathtime is always portrayed as a curse on the young, but when I was a child I looked forward to my Sunday evenings, splashing around with my 'toy' boats that I had made out of lollipop sticks in school. Entertainment was achieved much more simply back then, and without the need to fork out ludicrous amounts of cash. Richard Gere is being a twat again, as if anyone really gives a fuck, although the Indian magistrates who are ordering him to appear before them because of his actions are behaving equally twattishly. English is something I speak but will never be able to teach. Fucked if I know why. 'Touching cloth' is one of those expressions that inexplicably sends a shiver down my spine....

Out here, and despite the wide group of friends I have, I find it easy to feel isolated and lonely, yet I have no desire to return to the bosom of my family and find myself either unwilling or unable to maintain contact with friends I left behind. Fickle fucker that I am.

I went to a St. Andrew's Society ceilidh last night, which was interesting but tame compared with the ones I grew up attending. Never done a 'Strip The Willow' in the tropical heat before, a dance that could only have been invented in a country as cold as Scotland. Societies such as this always bring out a mixed feeling of intrigue and fear in me and whilst I cannot help observe like some stalker-ish peeping Tom I have never wanted to join one. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, yet no-one has ever bothered to explain why a person so named would wish ridicule upon himself by choosing such an alliterative occupation. It would be like me finding employment balancing books for butchery and baking businesses. Rebellion itself is strangely nothing more than an act of conformity, as every generation takes their turn to do it. 'Abba-riginal' is the punchline to a joke I was told last night, but it is far too crap for me to waste your time with. 'Trochaic' is a new word I learnt only recently, which may in part explain why I will never be able to teach English, at least from a literary perspective. In the end, does any of it really matter? Once we look below the shiny trappings we have surrounded ourselves with and see them for what they really are, will they still hold the same allure? No, of course they won't......

Cheers m'dears!

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14 Comments:

At Tuesday, May 01, 2007 12:10:00 am, Blogger Cynnie said...

what exactly is a tosser ?


Hi!
I'm all new..

I'll be back..hopefully with better comments

 
At Tuesday, May 01, 2007 3:06:00 am, Anonymous sarah said...

McShae, i do like a bit of weird shit. although, i'm slightly troubled to learn that you only bathed on Sundays as a youth.

 
At Tuesday, May 01, 2007 10:18:00 pm, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Sunday bathtime - tradition when I was a kid. Was that odd? I've never questioned it until now.

If you had siblings, the fights came with who had to get in the bathwater 2nd, because there was always the chance the one who had it first would have peed in the bath before getting out.

 
At Wednesday, May 02, 2007 12:41:00 am, Anonymous daydreamer said...

oh yeah the saturday evening bath was a ritual when I was a child too. You learned pretty quickly never to swallow the bathwater, Kim has explained why above.
Don't you think that teaching is a wierd job. Nobody will ever tell you that you're doing a good job least of all your boss. Nobody will ever tell you that you're doing a shit job. The teachers that I work with fall into three categories, those who think they're good (and never question themselves) but aren't, those who are good and know they are and have worked damn hard at it, those who have good days and bad days and learn from their experiences.

 
At Wednesday, May 02, 2007 3:37:00 pm, Blogger justin barker said...

The trick to teaching English it to fool yourself into believing all the lies they taught you about it in school.

Actually that's not entirely true, the best thing I've found is to do lots of read along listenings, simplify the grammar, and ask your students lots and lots of questions... Do you like it? Why do you like it? When did you start liking it? How do you like it? Are you liking it now? How about now? Was it good? Do you want to do it again? and so on.

 
At Wednesday, May 02, 2007 4:38:00 pm, Blogger Binty McShae said...

Cynnie - Welcome! I tried to visit you but I need to be listed as your friend, so I failed... in answer to your question, a 'tosser' is: a) someone who throws things; b) someone who masturbates; c) someone who is pretty worthless. I don't think (a) applies to me, whereas (b) could suggest that my ramblings are little more than verbal self-gratification and (c) indicates that my opinion really matters little. Take your pick...

Sarah, in the 70's and early 80's one bath a week was common practice in poorer households. We still washed every day, but full immersion in hot water was a luxury we couldn't afford! And showers? hardly anyone had one back then.

Kim - I actually had to share the bath (not just the water) with my siblings. I always hated that tell tale yellow streak in the water...

Daydreamer - a 4th category would be those who know they can't teach but can't find anything else to do. That would be me.

Justin - I was shit at it in school too. The kids I teach have a far better vocabulary and much more accurate grammar than I do. It's a good job I'm an arts teacher, not an English one!!

 
At Wednesday, May 02, 2007 11:52:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hello you. razorlove.livejournal.com

hope to see you soon :)

 
At Thursday, May 03, 2007 6:12:00 pm, Blogger Kav said...

When I was a kid, my sisters and I used to have to share the same bathwater...fortunately for me, as the oldest I got to go first. Every Saturday night, same deal. Gak.

 
At Friday, May 04, 2007 1:21:00 pm, Blogger Binty McShae said...

Anon - hello to you to, m'dear... and you will, I'm going to pop along to your gig on Sunday.

Kav - I was the oldest. Didn't mean a shit in our house!

 
At Saturday, May 05, 2007 8:54:00 am, Anonymous sarah said...

McShae: we were broke.. (late 70's early 80's kid here as well) but we were clean. :o) i did have to shower with one of my sisters, which sucked because one of them liked to stand under the water until time was almost up. i guess that was payback, i used to poop in the bath water when we were younger.

 
At Monday, May 07, 2007 10:19:00 am, Blogger Binty McShae said...

You see, showers were not very common in the UK at that time, not unless you had a bit of cash. And we were clean, goddammit! You can wash without total immersion, y'know!

 
At Tuesday, May 08, 2007 6:14:00 pm, Blogger Misssymartin said...

Blog surfin the Scots blogs and just thought I'd comment as I hate it myself when so many people just pop in but don't make themselves known. Like your blog- have linked to it so that I can check on new posts. Taught English abroad myself in the past...I take it that's what you do.

Misssymartin

 
At Wednesday, May 09, 2007 12:42:00 pm, Blogger Binty McShae said...

Thanks for dropping by misssy... But no, it's not English that I teach. I'm an arts teacher.

 
At Friday, May 11, 2007 6:32:00 pm, Blogger P1P said...

I spent an evening drinking with a couple of American girls who described it as dropping the C-Bomb. I laughed so much I nearly prolapsed.

 

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