Identity - the meme

Okay, I am a bit slow on the uptake here but it has come to my attention that the aviating vermin has tagged me with another mo'fo'ing meme... and you know I HATE those things! But in lieu of any other form of inspiration for my random drivel I am inclined to take him up on the task...

So this one is 8 true facts about me with one utter porky. See if you can guess which one is balderdash...

1) I once acted in a popular British soap opera. No, I won't say which one. I still feel unclean. Suffice to say no-one I know even recalls ever seeing me in that role.

2) An ex-girlfriend of mine once contracted chlamidya... in her eye. It took the doctors weeks to work out what the problem was. And I'm sure many of them have dined out on that story since.

3) My favourite playwright is the relatively obscure Olwen Wymark, who was married to actor Patrick Wymark, twice celluloid-portrayer of Winston Churchill as well as Oliver Cromwell in Witchfinder General.

4) Despite growing up right by the sea (and I mean about 10 meters away from it at high tide) the highest swimming certificate I ever achieved was the 50 meters. And that was doggy-style. Err... I mean, 'paddle'!

5) I once full-on snogged a moustachioed man. There were extenuating circumstances. And it wasn't nice. Especially for him as I had been eating tuna from the tin 15 minutes previously.

6) I once lived two doors along from the scriptwriter for Roland Rat and The Krankies (sorry, non-Brits... you'll have to look those references up!). The latter I met in person at his house. It was not one of those hero-worship moments.

7) My father once stood in for Ian Anderson when he was unable to sing with his band Jethro Tull during auditions for a new drummer. Although that was around the Catfish Rising years, hardly a legendary period.

8) A picture I painted when I was only 16 can be seen behind Bob Dylan's head on the cover of his album 'World Gone Wrong'. It was hanging in the Camden gallery where Bob's photo shoot took place. For some legal bollocks reason I am not entitled to any royalties. Which is a bitch.

9) Yesterday on the MRT (tube / subway / metro, depending where you're from) another passenger accidentally showed me a picture on his phone of himself sitting on the toilet with his cock blatantly in shot. Oh, how we laughed.

If you get it right you get a nice little e-mail from me... but don't let on to anyone else! Oh, and Doc M., Kim, Sarah, FMC, Footsie... tag, you're it!

Cheers m'dears!

NOT an apology post.

I've been really busy, I'm afraid. Not that you are actually interested in my day to day life, but I just thought I'd let you know that I haven't forgotten about you all. I mean, I hate it when bloggers tell you all about their ultimately tedious reasons for having not sat at a computer screen trying to be witty. It's as if they are apologising for having the nerve to not entertain the rest of us, which displays a level of irony as the aoplogy posts themselves tend to have very little entertainment value. And, for gods sake, it's not as if you all want to know that I had fish heads for breakfast this morning before going to get my man-gina waxed...

Is it...?

Cheers m'dears!