Random Drivel from your Average Tosser

...with your host, Binty McShae - whether you like it or not!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Hey, it says "random" in the title, doesn't it!?

There is a woman who I see often as I wait for my bus to work. She looks a bit odd, a bit like a Chinese version of Anne from Little Britain ("Eh, eh, eeehhh!!"). And she walks backwards. For weeks I thought about this and finally decided it must be some kind of weird bone disorder that makes her legs unable to function forwards, and I felt very sorry for her, only able to see where she'd been, never where she was headed. And it must be dangerous too. And then one day, as she was walking along, she suddenly turned around and started walking forwards... go figure.

I just had it pointed out to me that a certain bottled water manufacturer has a sense of humour. I always wondered, having lived in countries where the tap water is perfectly safe, just what the obsession was at paying what seems to me over the top prices for a bottle of H2O... but then if you spell Evian backwards...

I think I may have another bout of hem... haemorr... heamer... *sigh* piles coming on. Or should I say 'pile' since I only ever get one at a time. I got my first one at the tender age of 20, but have been grape-free for about 3 years now. I think they are the reason I will never understand Sarah's obsession with anal beads...

Yesterdays date was 6/6/6, which freaks the shit out of some folk but not over here. The Mandarin word for "six" sounds a lot like the word for "lucky" or "good" or something so yesterday was a bumper day for weddings. Although I worry a little about any births that may have occurred.........

Apparently Wayne Rooney has been spotted kicking a football. Apparently the whole of the English press are having multiple orgasms over the "event". Apparently I couldn't give a flying fuck what that arse-faced twat does.

I once dated a girl who thought I was romantic because I said her eyes looked like eclipses. I wasn't being romantic. She had blue irises (what the fuck is that plural? Irees? Iri?) and around the pupil there was a kind of thin but very uneven golden ring. I wasn't trying to get laid, I just said what I saw.

King Darius the Mede wasn't called Darius at all but Darayavahush. Typical Anglicization of a name. I wonder how many kids out there know that. I wonder how many kids out there know that there was a guy called Darius that wasn't simply famous for being a twat on Pop Idol, or whichever wank show it was that he appeared on.

Oh, and by the way... Feet really piss me off. Especially YOURS!

Cheers m'dears!

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At Thursday, June 08, 2006 1:09:00 am, Blogger Foot Eater said...

Bumgrapes at 20? That's a bit of a bugger. Were you chronically constipated through your teens, Binty, or did you perhaps have a habit of putting objects where they didn't belong?

At Thursday, June 08, 2006 11:40:00 am, Blogger SafeTinspector said...

6-7-6 = SafeTinspector's birthday.
6-8-6 = SafeTspawn's birthday
6-6-6 = possible mistranslation of the original greek 6-2-6.
6-2-6 = a prototypical Mazda model. Later shortened to simply '6'.
6 = the number of toes on my cat's foot.
Foot = something you are pissed off about.

Everything comes around eventually.

At Friday, June 09, 2006 3:54:00 am, Anonymous sarah said...

haha FE.. maybe McShae is so uptight that he's "anal".

seriously though, that's a shame my dear, i'm sorry about your wee bottom. :o(

hey, that kitty is flipping me off!

At Saturday, June 10, 2006 3:13:00 am, Blogger kari said...

I had a pile once. No fun.

At Saturday, June 10, 2006 8:29:00 am, Anonymous sarah said...

and it's not so much an obsession as a strong liking..


and not so much as a "strong liking" of anal beads.. but all anal toys.

i should post a photo.

At Saturday, June 10, 2006 7:41:00 pm, Blogger SafeTinspector said...

Sarah:That would be....interesting.

At Monday, June 12, 2006 7:12:00 pm, Blogger Gentleman-hobbs said...

Talking of bottled water, is it a coincidence that evian is naive back to front?


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