A Condemnation...

This is just a quickie to register my disgust at the fucking morons who have been making the headlines recently. There is a rivalry between Scotland and England, and a history of antagonism between the two, and as a Scot I suppose I am biased in these affairs. But nothing - nothing at all - excuses the behaviour of the utter cunt who punched a 7 year old boy for wearing an England top in a Scots park. A fully grown (I use that phrase as an indicator of size, not mentality) man walking up to a wee lad and telling him "This is Scotland, not fucking England" before punching him to the ground? Whoever you are you are a cunt of the highest degree and if I ever found you out I'd be there with a fucking tyre iron in a flash...

Add that to twat number 2 who dragged a man out of his car for wearing an England top and beat the shit out of him. The fact that he was disabled (as the papers keep pointing out) is irrelevant - it simply should not have happened. The victim has been quick to point out that it was an unusual incident and he spent that evening (black-eye and all) in the bar watching England play Sweden with his Scots pals. Apparently they were supporting Sweden, but he himself happily states that this is "just friendly banter"... unlike the guy he'd encountered only hours earlier.

This all comes hot on the heels of Scotland being praised for the way it has (on the whole) welcomed the growing immigrant population who are moving over, especially the Poles. It really fucking distresses me to see a couple of wankers drag the rest of the nation through the mud...

...but hold your horses, Tony Blair. Blaming the Tartan Army is not right. They are an organisation with proper membership and have a sterling reputation the world over. To lump all Scots fans in with these two bastards does a disservice, but especially the Tartan Army when there is no proof that either perpetrator is a member.

And a message to the Sun newspaper... do you really think you help the situation whan you state that it's a good thing that on average the Scots die younger than the English? Typical tabloid press, fanning the fucking flames!

Cheers m'dears!

It's my support and I'll apportion it as I see fit!

Okay, lets get this one thing straight. I can't be arsed with all that "I support anyone who plays against England" crap. I don't see a great amount of point to it, other than to piss off a few wankers that I know. But for fucks sake, no-one has a right to expect me to support England either. I am perfectly happy to just not give a shit.

These are the arguments I am usually given for why I should support England:

1) We're all British.

2) We support Scotland when they play.

3) You live in England. (Okay, I obviously don't get that anymore but I used to.)

4) Scotland don't have a hope of ever winning.

5) If you don't it must mean you're racist.

And here are my replies:

1) Yes, we are. But by that token would you expect Everton fans to support Liverpool? Man City fans to support Man Utd? And as for the Old Firm.....

2) That's great, I am sure it is much appreciated. That is, assuming you really mean "support". I recall two England fans giving me that one during France '98, and to be fair they did cheer Scotland on during the games. But come the fateful last group game where we crashed and burned who were the first in the queue to take the piss and taunt me for my beloved Scotland failing to make it through (again)... I'll give you one guess. That, my friends, is not support. I, on the other hand, do not give a fuck so I neither cheer nor jeer.

3) So, you're telling me that if you were living in Argentina or Germany you would support them in front of England? Thought not.

4) So, what happened to it not being about winning but taking part? Anyway, I am not seriously waiting for a trophy to be lifted (not that I'd object), I am simply praying for the day we make it into round 2 of any competition! And incidentally, I am utterly unconvinced that England will win again, at least not in my lifetime. So many other countries have improved so dramatically that I don't think England stand a chance. The English press seem to have this habit of whipping the supporters into a frenzy of expectation rather than a bond of hope, something which I find rather sad (and I would suggest contributes to certain "incidents" after losing matches).

5) No, it doesn't. Being abusive to the England team or their supporters (either physically or verbally) just because they are English would be racist (or technically "nationist" as "English" isn't actually a race), but simply not supporting them is not. Otherwise we would all be racist for not supporting all 32 nations involved in the cup.

So, there you go. Support who you will, it doesn't bother me. But do not presume to tell me who I should or should not cheer for...

...and, yes. I KNOW about 1966. Were you there? Because it was a few years before I was fucking born, and unless you have some first hand experience of the event that I haven't already heard will you please just fuck off.

Cheers m'dears!

Hey, it says "random" in the title, doesn't it!?

There is a woman who I see often as I wait for my bus to work. She looks a bit odd, a bit like a Chinese version of Anne from Little Britain ("Eh, eh, eeehhh!!"). And she walks backwards. For weeks I thought about this and finally decided it must be some kind of weird bone disorder that makes her legs unable to function forwards, and I felt very sorry for her, only able to see where she'd been, never where she was headed. And it must be dangerous too. And then one day, as she was walking along, she suddenly turned around and started walking forwards... go figure.

I just had it pointed out to me that a certain bottled water manufacturer has a sense of humour. I always wondered, having lived in countries where the tap water is perfectly safe, just what the obsession was at paying what seems to me over the top prices for a bottle of H2O... but then if you spell Evian backwards...

I think I may have another bout of hem... haemorr... heamer... *sigh* piles coming on. Or should I say 'pile' since I only ever get one at a time. I got my first one at the tender age of 20, but have been grape-free for about 3 years now. I think they are the reason I will never understand Sarah's obsession with anal beads...

Yesterdays date was 6/6/6, which freaks the shit out of some folk but not over here. The Mandarin word for "six" sounds a lot like the word for "lucky" or "good" or something so yesterday was a bumper day for weddings. Although I worry a little about any births that may have occurred.........

Apparently Wayne Rooney has been spotted kicking a football. Apparently the whole of the English press are having multiple orgasms over the "event". Apparently I couldn't give a flying fuck what that arse-faced twat does.

I once dated a girl who thought I was romantic because I said her eyes looked like eclipses. I wasn't being romantic. She had blue irises (what the fuck is that plural? Irees? Iri?) and around the pupil there was a kind of thin but very uneven golden ring. I wasn't trying to get laid, I just said what I saw.

King Darius the Mede wasn't called Darius at all but Darayavahush. Typical Anglicization of a name. I wonder how many kids out there know that. I wonder how many kids out there know that there was a guy called Darius that wasn't simply famous for being a twat on Pop Idol, or whichever wank show it was that he appeared on.

Oh, and by the way... Feet really piss me off. Especially YOURS!

Cheers m'dears!

'Nuff said...

Self-harm - not so cut and dried.

On Brewski's current post he mentions people who self-harm... he brings this up in his usual 'what the fuck is going on?' kind of way (quote: "And what's with every cunt self-harming these days anyway? The world has fucking left me behind pal.") and in the midst of a typically humorous post, so rather than bring everyone down by getting all serious in his comments box I have decided to write on the subject here...

Now, I have worked with (in a mentor / student capacity) and been friends with many people who have or still do cut themselves and to my mind they fall into three distinct categories:-

1) The ones that genuinely want to kill themselves. These are the ones I have met least, partially because... well, you don't know who they are until they do it. Only those who fail in the attempt get brought to your attention, and only if you are close to the individual or work in some kind of medical or social field where you would need to know. Your average person in the street would be oblivious to this type of self-harmer as they tend to keep the scars well covered to avoid detection.

2) The ones who feel like they are letting out the pain. This is kind of like a medieval style blood-letting and as well as the psychological idea of "bleeding out the bad" there is some degree of physical truth in the concept that calmness and "lightness" comes with a loss of blood. This type of self-harmer does this purely for themselves and is usually embarrassed about it. As a result they also tend to keep their scars covered to avoid detection.

3) The attention-seekers. Okay, that is a harsh phrase to use to describe them but it sums it up. They are maybe crying out for help, maybe simply wanting someone to notice them. Some just want to look 'hard', although I have not met many like that. These tend to be most obvious, the most noticeable to other people, as they ones rarely cover up their scars - the point of them is to be seen. Whereas types 1 and 2 will often be left with permanent scars type 3 will rarely cut that deep... of course, there is always the chance that - if ignored - a type 3 will graduate to type 2 or 1.

Okay, there is certainly some generalisation there and my intention is not to offend any readers who themselves self-harm. I do, however, base this on my observations and conversations with self-harmers, some of whom have been very close to me.

The basic fact is the people who we most hear about and see, the people who Brewski describes as "slicing 'I am a cunt' into your pallid skin, you poncey emo fucks you", they tend to fall into category 3. But there are so many more people out there who do this than we realise... your best friend; your kid; your secretary; your teacher... I guarrantee that all of us have people in our lives that cut themselves, yet we don't even know.

As usual your thoughts are welcomed...

Cheers m'dears!

For those who are interested here is a link to The National Self-Harm Network of the UK. For those outside of the UK there are other sites that may be more use - you just need to do a search.