Random Drivel from your Average Tosser

...with your host, Binty McShae - whether you like it or not!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Televisual Tossery

So what happened to the good old days of the BBC? Auntie Beeb, giving us slice by slice of glorious British life through those twin delights of Comedy and Drama... astounding us with documentaries explaining just how bizarre and un-British the rest of the world was... and, of course, informing us of how wonderful our country was and what rotten Johnny Foreigner was up to through its unrivalled news service. An era when programming started at 8.37am sharp and ended at bedtime, 6.02pm, with a pride-inducing blast of 'God Save The Queen' (followed by a rousing chorus of 'Knees Up Mother Brown' on every third Sunday). An innocent age when the licence fee cost thruppence and ha'penny and the Radio Times came with a digestive biscuit each week as a free gift... *Sigh*, the good old days...!

Of course that was all back in the days of my childhood when we only had BBCs 1 and 2 and their ruffian of a neighbour, ITV. Nowadays there is Satellite, Cable... you name it. And even those Neanderthal-minded technophobes who can still only receive terrestrial channels have had their quota upped with the emergence of Channels 4 and 5. All of which has sadly led to a demise in programming, leading us to be force-fed such travesties as Pop Idol and Big Brother whilst inanities like "Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps" are laughingly bestowed the rank of 'Comedy'. Even the Grand Old Soap Operas, once the bastion of British Televisual Entertainment, have had the credibility of their storylines stretched far too far by an insistence that they air 27 times a week.

Surely things can get no worse? Surely there is no more room for utter shite on television? I mean, surely the only way broadcasting could stoop any lower would be to show, oh... I don't know... a marathon masturbation session, for example - literally, a load of wank.

Oh no they wouldn't...!?

Oh yes they fucking would!

Channel 4 - the land that good taste ran like buggery from...

Cheers m'dears!

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At Tuesday, July 25, 2006 6:35:00 pm, Blogger SheBah said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At Tuesday, July 25, 2006 6:37:00 pm, Blogger SheBah said...

We have already had Gunther von Hagens dissecting corpses on tv, Vanessa Feltz highlighting vaginal cosmetic surgery and penile implants in all their lurid glory, and Gillian McKeith with her greatly detailed colonic irrigation, plus the "celebrity" (Tamara Beckwith et al) show filmed in Thailand where they had coffee enemas on screen, so a wank show seems mild in comparison. What next, a live murder? A bit of live buggery? How I long for a few excellent, subtle tv programmes. Am completely turned off by all the variations of reality tv.

At Tuesday, July 25, 2006 6:44:00 pm, Blogger SheBah said...

..except for the dancing one!
Shallow, moi?

At Tuesday, July 25, 2006 8:12:00 pm, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

AS the "Average Tosser" I'd expect you to be in the middle of it all...

At Wednesday, July 26, 2006 9:26:00 am, Blogger Sarah said...

i still stand by this:

television in britain has it all over television in the u.s. i should know.. i work in TV!

although most of the TV i was forced to watch in london.. were american programmes.. the ex's little sis loved spongebob..

At Thursday, July 27, 2006 12:20:00 am, Blogger meekon5 said...

Speaking as the Pope of my own religion based on masturbation I think this is wonderful. The masturbation bit that is.

I can only agree with the rest. I find myself buying DVD's of old TV programs (The Goodies, The Clangers) and watching them instead. I have a couple of friends that don't even watch TV any more. They rely on other people recommending stuff and either taping it or buying/borrowing the DVD.

At Thursday, July 27, 2006 1:37:00 am, Blogger Andraste said...

I'm far too repressed to watch this type of thing, even out of morbid curiosity. I wouldn't know where to put my eyes!

But how is a wankathon any different from reality TV is what I'd like to know.

At Sunday, July 30, 2006 10:37:00 am, Blogger SafeTinspector said...

I get a hundred or so cable channels as part of my "basic" cable package.
I've found that after the first year or so of existence, market pressures force every channel to adopt a lowest-common-denomenator strategy to programming that renders everything startlinkly homogenous.
In other words, every frickin channel has at least one home makeover show, one reality show, something with gays being gay for the point of being gay instead of incidentally to some other more relevant point, one sitcom with a fat/ugly guy married to a hottie, blah blah blah.
At least, since the discovery of South Korea, we get better cartoons than we deserve.


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