Random Drivel from your Average Tosser

...with your host, Binty McShae - whether you like it or not!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

What the...?

Having had a long day of hard work followed by an even longer night of hard liquor it was perhaps unsurprising to discover the next day that exhaustion had prevented me from leaving my clothes anywhere other than the floor. And it was by no means the first time that a half eaten packet of crisps, the evidence of a belated atempt at soaking up the alcohol, appeared to have been scattered on my bedside table. Nor could it be considered unusual that my missing house keys had turned up still in the lock of the front door - although that last had only recently become a worrying development.

What was strange, however, was my mobile 'phone. My best guess is that I had been attempting to 'sleep-text' in the middle of the night. No message actually got sent and who I believed I was writing to is a mystery but upon a morning inspection of my 'phone I discovered that I had been composing a slightly bizarre message. It read like this...

"Whats ur e-mail address again? Need 2 stay in touch! Mine is +65 followed by blue, red"

And there it ended, apparently unfinished. If anyone out there has any insight into what the fuck was going on in my brain that night I would love to hear from you! I honestly have not a clue!

Anyway, enough of that twaddle. I'm off to chow down on some bits and pieces of animals you wouldn't normally consider eating all minced up and cooked inside a plastic bag that's been made to represent a sheeps stomach, all whilst enjoying the skirl o' the pipes and steadily getting bladdered on fine whisky. I probably ought to hide my 'phone first, though... Happy Burns Night to ye all!

SlĂ inte m'dears!

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8 Comments:

At Thursday, January 25, 2007 7:17:00 pm, Blogger SafeTinspector said...

I sent an email to 65redblue@yahoo.com, 65redblue@gmail.com, 65redblue@hotmail.com, postmaster@65redblue.com, 65redblue@65redblue.com, plus65@redblue.com, plus@65redblue.com...
No response yet. I'll let you know if I contact your inebriate.

 
At Thursday, January 25, 2007 7:18:00 pm, Blogger SafeTinspector said...

Let me also say that, as a drunk man, you navigate text messaging like a champ.

 
At Friday, January 26, 2007 5:09:00 pm, Blogger michael the tubthumper said...

hapopy burns night to you as well

i once woke up more or less inside a hedgerow with EVERY item of clothing turned inside out

i still have no idea what happened

 
At Friday, January 26, 2007 5:11:00 pm, Blogger michael the tubthumper said...

and on the subject of drinking...

Whene'er to Drink you are inclin'd,
Or Cutty-sarks rin in your mind,
Think ye may buy the joys o'er dear;
Remember Tam o' Shanter's mare.

 
At Saturday, January 27, 2007 4:03:00 am, Blogger Dr Maroon said...

SafeT, I don't think you've any right to call Binty a chimp.
He's doing his best.

 
At Sunday, January 28, 2007 12:15:00 am, Blogger Clairwil said...

Hello,
I've just been over at councillor Kelly's blog. Thanks for your comments Binty I'm touched.

 
At Tuesday, January 30, 2007 5:56:00 am, Blogger Peter The Great said...

Don't sweat it Binty, until you graduate to the 'wankered email'.

The real question is whether it's better to have your sent items enabled so you can review your stupidity in the cold light of day, or whether ignorance is, in fact, bliss.

Incidentally, I think you were halfway through your text when a police car drove by, when you got distracted and just wrote about the pretty lights.

 
At Tuesday, January 30, 2007 8:47:00 am, Anonymous sarah said...

this is when you realize.. that you should quit drinking all together..

or get a very reliable drinking buddy.

 

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