Random Drivel from your Average Tosser

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Monday, February 05, 2007

Lost in Translation #01

Slice of Life

So, having eaten Asian food every meal so far this year (not actually that uncommon for me, as I live very close to a very good and ridiculously cheap place that does food from all over South-East Asia) I decided the other night to do something a little more... western. I was, after all, sitting in a bar that pretty much only served bog-standard western bar-fare. But having hummed and hawed at the weighty menu, consisting of the likes of burgers and macaroni cheese, I eventually decided that a nice light plate of cold cuts and salad would be just the ticket.

I'm sure you are all aware that cold cuts do exactly what they say on the tin. They are cuts of meat that are served cold. This, for me, sounded like a refreshing change - but then again, I had forgotten that this is Asia and things are often... well, different.

Five minutes after my dining partner's piping hot, freshly cooked meal had arrived I was beginning to wonder what the fuck was taking so long... were they slaughtering the animals, cooking them and then waiting for them to cool down? Being the kind of man I am - very reasonable up to a point, usually a point accompanied by intense hunger, at which time I become a scowling, growling pain in the arse - I was just about to make a rather sarcastic comment to the waitress when, all of a sudden, a plate appears before me. A plate that looked very like a plate of cold cuts on salad. Except that it was steaming.

Yep. That's right. They had heated up my cold cuts. Worse still, the ham was obviously pre-packaged reconstituted stuff which had probably never been hot in the first place. But the clincher for me, the worst of it all... they had heated it all up together, salad included! Limp warm lettuce leaves... delicious, I don't think!

It dawned on me later that I don't think I have ever seen a local meal in this country which hasn't been piping hot. I'll probably never understand why, in a country so damn warm, folk seem to have an aversion to eating cold dishes.

Cheers m'dears!

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6 Comments:

At Monday, February 05, 2007 9:20:00 pm, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Of course back home in Scotland your cold cuts and salad could have been dipped in batter and deep fried.

Oh, and while I remember, I was mugged by blogger into updating to the new version. Unfortunately this means those that you and El Barbudo can't get access to upload directly to the Blunt Cogs site unless or until you switch over to Blogger 2.

Sorry about that - I didn't realise until it was done and I can't reverse it. If you do switch but find you still don't have access, let me know and I'll send you another invite to join.

 
At Wednesday, February 07, 2007 4:11:00 pm, Anonymous sarah said...

it's probably to do with killing bacteria.

 
At Thursday, February 08, 2007 8:26:00 pm, Blogger The MacBean Gene said...

Your probably only the second guy to ever order the cold cuts and most of the wait time was the kitchen discussion on how to prepare them. The cook with the cleaver had the final decision.

 
At Friday, February 09, 2007 3:00:00 pm, Blogger Monstee said...

mmmMMMMmmmmmm....
Steaming hot cold cuts....
Put on some freezing cold hot sauce and wash it down with room warm drink...
mmmmMMMMMmmmmm.....

 
At Monday, February 12, 2007 1:20:00 am, Blogger michael the tubthumper said...

so you can't get potato scone there either then?

 
At Monday, February 12, 2007 6:26:00 am, Blogger Binty McShae said...

Actually, Michael, there is a new themed Scottish bar recently opened where you probably can. I haven't been in there yet (I have a slight aversion to themed bars) but a friend of mine plays gigs there and he says they do good stovies, for one thing...

 

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